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Do Pets Grieve Other Pets When They Die? How Our Dogs Reacted to Baby Cat’s Passing

Nicole Cosgrove Profile Picture

By Nicole Cosgrove

After the burial :(
After the burial 🙁

Hi, I’m Nicole! Read my introduction to learn more about me and my distinguished Burmese, Mr. Baby Cat.

Baby Cat was our first baby and for five years, he was our only baby. When we welcomed our first rescue pup Rosa into the home it took him a couple of weeks to get on board with the decision, but she was the perfect dog to ease him into siblinghood because although she was eager to be near him to learn from him, she also respected his boundaries and gave him the space he was so used to having.

When Machado, our lab x mastiff rescue arrived, we were so grateful Baby was already desensitized to dogs because this one behaved exactly as you’d expect a toddler, youngest brother of three, to act, and came in loving his big brother cat as though he’d been waiting his whole two-year life to find him.

Baby tolerated him for the first week, and by week two, he was just as smitten. The boys became besties and it was hilarious to watch the big dog vigorously grooming the little cat, and the cat always going back for more. A few times we even stepped in because we thought Mac didn’t know his own strength and might hurt Baby, but Baby would groan at us and walk back between Mac’s front legs and lay down for the spa treatment.

Rosa and Baby Cat maintained their previous respectful relationship, but she left the boys to it and enjoyed her alone time when they were together. I often say that because Rosa spent most of her first year in a cage she didn’t learn how to properly ‘dog,’ and the ‘dog’ she learned from was actually a cat. So she has a lot of cat-like aloofness qualities (though since getting Mac, she’s definitely learned how to dog, too).

The family was full of beautiful interspecies friendships and love. When Baby Cat was getting older, sicker, and more frail, we noticed Mac’s behavior changing too. He was much more cautious and gentle during the grooming sessions and didn’t bother to encourage play. It was like he knew it was too much, and he met Baby Cat at his level instead of expecting Baby to join him.

We knew that they were in tune emotionally, but we didn’t know the extent of the range of emotions a dog could feel.

Before Baby Cat Passed

Mac, Baby Cat, and our daughter sharing a lovely moment on Baby Cat's last day
Mac, Baby Cat, and our daughter sharing a lovely moment on Baby Cat’s last day

The day before we took Baby Cat to the vet, where the vet helped us to ultimately decide that we needed to help him cross the rainbow bridge and euthanize, we had some very special moments with Mac, Baby, and our daughter. We had a feeling it was the last day but we weren’t certain, but seeing how Mac was behaving, it was like he knew before we did. As it turns out, the next morning I disturbed Baby Cat in what I believe was him trying to cross the rainbow bridge on his own, so maybe Mac had that sense it was going to happen at home. We already had the vet appointment booked, though, so I woke him from that state. I wouldn’t have done that had I not had a glimmer of hope that he could be saved, but I was a hopeful mama.

Rosa was there too, dealing with her emotions in a completely different way. More aloof, tough gal. She’s been through a lot (she lost her son), so I think even if she knew what was going on with Baby Cat, she knows how to handle her emotions more stoically. I realize how wild that sounds as I write this about a dog, but if you have animals in your home I imagine you understand.

Mac came to the vet’s with us because he had to have a checkup of his own (had swallowed a macadamia nut whole and it got lodged in his intestine and we had to have an emergency (after hours of course) abdominal surgery to get it out, so he was getting his stitches checked out). We explained to him and our two-year-old daughter what was happening in terms we thought they could understand—who knows if they did but the thought and gesture was there.

So, when we were in the room where it happened (nod to any Hamilton fans reading—the words just came out of me, and I was about to change it but the song is in my head now so I figured I’d get it in yours, too), I think Mac was prepared. He got a bit more in Baby Cat’s face than he had in the past few weeks, nuzzling him, and doing his aggressive grooming, like he knew it was the last one.

When we put Baby Cat on the table again and said our goodbyes, Mac tried to break out of the vet room door by digging at the bottom, something we’ve never seen him do. I managed to get a snap of him waiting at the door to leave, we were busy photographing Baby and getting our last pictures with him and I wanted to remember how Mac was responding, too.

Mac wanting to leave the vet's room before Baby Cat was put down

After Baby Cat Passed

We had Baby Cat in a little box by the fireplace, his favorite spot, for a few days as we prepared to bury him and say our goodbyes. I went into detail about this a few weeks ago here.

Each time we opened the box to look, Mac would come running and push himself in front of us to nuzzle into Baby and get protective, he even growled at Rosa for walking by one time; again, something we’ve never seen him do.

We ended up having to keep him in the bedroom if any of us were feeling compelled to speak to Baby Cat with the open casket because he was getting way too emotional and almost aggressive. It was so out of character and it showed me just how upset he was about his brother. He skipped denial and was in a vicious loop of anger, bargaining, and depression.

Mac and his last attempt at bargaining, nuzzling Baby Cat as we prepared him for his final resting place.
Mac and his last attempt at bargaining, nuzzling Baby Cat as we prepared him for his final resting place.

When we were burying Baby Cat, Mac’s vicious loop continued, he laid on the jute bag we were going to place Baby Cat in as if to prevent us from using it, bargaining that his cat didn’t need it and everything was OK. He growled at Rosa for being near again. It was so hard to reprimand him because he was deep in grief, but we had to protect Rosa too. Thankfully, she didn’t mind.

After Baby Cat was buried, Mac went into full depression mode. For a few days. He was so mopey, and didn’t get up when we said “walk!” or when we grabbed the leads. Rosa jumped into acceptance a lot quicker than Mac, though we did notice she had her private grief moments where she’d go lay in Baby Cat’s old favorite spots, places she never used to lay.

Rosa laying on Baby's spot on the outdoor couch after we got home from the vet's - she never lays here.
Rosa lying on Baby’s spot on the outdoor couch after we got home from the vet’s – she never lays here.

It didn’t help that he was healing from surgery, either. Double whammy. But he had more energy before Baby’s death so we knew that this was all emotional, not physical.

He would also lay in Baby Cat’s favorite spots, would search for him in his bed. His sadness helped us through the stages of grief because we felt we needed to be there for him. It was very special bonding, though, for all five of us. We had a lot of cuddle puddles in the bed, extra hugs, and holding each other close.

Time Heals Wounds, Even Though We Still Carry the Scars

Time has passed without Baby Cat and though we still miss him dearly (I really miss the feline energy in this home, dogs are great but they need cats to keep them in line), we know that he had a wonderful life, it was his time to go, and he is not suffering anymore.

We have his pot and hibiscus tree on our back patio so we can sit with him and talk to him as he flowers and grows.

Mac can often be found sitting beside him. I wonder if he talks to him in his own doggy ways? Or if he remembers what’s inside the pot, or if he just likes being in the sun.

Mac and Baby Cat's tree
Mac and Baby Cat’s tree

I know we can never truly know what a dog is feeling because they can’t use words to tell us, but after witnessing Mac’s behaviors in those few days before and after Baby Cat’s death, I can say for certain that he was experiencing emotions.

He is a gentle, kind soul who hasn’t growled since Baby Cat was put to rest. It was the closure he needed and soon he will be able to rest in his shade.

If you have a grieving cat or dog, or one you think might be grieving, check out our articles:

This article is a part of Nicole and Baby Cat's series.

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Nicole Cosgrove Profile Picture

Authored by

Nicole is a lover of animals of all sizes but is especially fascinated with the feline variety. She’s the proud mom of Baby, a Burmese, and works every day so he can relax in the sunshine or by the fire. She’s always had a cat in her home and has spent countless days with others, observing behaviors and softening up even the grouchiest of the lot. Nicole wants to share her kitty expertise with you so you and your cat ...Read more

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