Our Final Goodbye – Giving Baby Cat His Resting Place

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Hi, I’m Nicole! Read my introduction to learn more about me and my distinguished Burmese, Mr. Baby Cat.
While I always knew we were going to bury Baby Cat under a tree, I never thought I wouldn’t be ready to lay him in the ground. After he crossed the rainbow bridge and we were off to the greenhouse to find his tree, I told my husband we needed to find a pot, so in case we ever move, he can come with us. It may seem crazy, but I’m just not ready to fully let go.
When we got to the first greenhouse we looked at all of the pots. There were a few that were pretty but none that stood out. We liked one, but we decided to check out the other greenhouse across the road just to be sure, and thank goodness we did.
The pot we ended up choosing was a no brainer the moment we saw it. While it is not a color that matches any of our home decor or style, it was him in pot form. The caramel coloration couldn’t have been more perfect. Of course, it was on display with a bunch of other plants and pots surrounding it and inside it so we needed to call upon one of the workers to help us get it out. He was friendly and tall, looked like he’d just got out of the garden on a landscaping project, and had a thick Kiwi accent. He had to give quite a bit of his time to get it out so we had time to talk. I was a bit reluctant to tell him what it was for but at the same time I couldn’t keep it in. I was excited to have found the perfect pot for a resting place for my Baby Cat.
“You don’t happen to have any natural hemp or jute bags, do you?” I asked awkwardly. “It will feel a bit weird throwing dirt directly on our kitty, I’d like to bury him inside something, if it’s possible.”
“I’m not sure we do, but leave it to me, I’ll find something,” he replied, and off he went.
A few minutes later he came back and signalled me to follow him to another part of the store.
“We’ve got these bamboo fences here that come inside jute bags. But we don’t need ‘em” he said quietly. “Is this what you meant?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m looking for, anything like that?”
“Yeah, I mean this bag here,” he continued as he started to pull it off of the rolled up garden fencing. “Take the bag, and if anyone at the checkout counter asks about it, tell them ‘Bob gave it to me’, but nobody’s gonna ask you about it anyways.”
I couldn’t believe the kindness of this stranger. The way he looked at me when he handed me the bag was as though he knew exactly what we were going through. Whether it was a cat or a dog I’ll never know, he didn’t say much, but his eyes, and this gesture said it all.
Preparing the Funeral
Baby Cat stayed in his box by the fire for three days, maybe four. Actually, maybe it was five. It’s hard to remember as it was all a bit of a blur. We’d lift the lid from time to time to see him, and I even did a final fireside yoga session with him in his closed box the night before we buried him. Again, it might sound crazy, it sure sounds crazy as I write it, but it felt so natural, normal, and healing in the moment that I would do it all over again.
That said, we probably left it a little long, because I remember he was starting to smell. Which sounds awful (and kind of was), but it actually was such a helpful step in the grieving process. When it was time to bury him, we were so ready.
Mac was grieving hard, especially on the day. From the moment we started preparing the pot, he somehow knew what was happening. He was laying in Baby Cat’s spot on the couch, he layed on the jute bag as I was preparing it, he was just in the way. Rosa was avoiding everything and off on her own with the fairies, but I imagine that was just her way of coping with her emotions.
Our daughter picked some flowers from our garden to plant with Baby Cat and we got everything ready. We laid flowers inside to go underneath him and layed five flowers on top of him to signify the five of us (my husband, daughter, two dogs, and me) who are with him always.
Saying Our Goodbyes
While it was very sad and emotional, we were able to share a few giggles, mainly about how smelly he was becoming. His body was cold, hard, and lifeless, and it was easy to separate his soul from it at this point. We felt his spirit around us now.
Before we buried him, I took a paw print. We were gifted a family handprint art project for my daughter’s first birthday and we never found the right time to do it, it just never felt right. I was so grateful I remembered this before we said our final goodbye, because I was able to get hand prints for the whole family (dogs included too), which is not something we would have done had we done it on the first birthday, taking the pet prints just wouldn’t have occurred to me.
We each said something we loved about Baby Cat, but then when Rosa came in to have a sniff (while it was stinky for us, he probably smelled like Chanel No. 5 to Rosa), Mac growled and we noticed how hard he really was grieving. We didn’t want to prolong his pain anymore, so we decided to complete the burial and tree planting, and then say a few more words after.
We planted a hibiscus tree on top of him, so we can feel him speaking to us each time a flower blooms. It felt strange putting dirt on top of his little jute-wrapped body, but it also felt calming and relieving knowing he was going to live on through this tree, on our deck, and provide shade for us in the future as he grows in his new form. He will be beside us in soul and in flower, and while I’ve let go of the physical form of Baby Cat now that I’ve said goodbye, I can keep holding onto his branches and sitting beside him in the sun. Mac got that message too.
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Read her previous article: What Do You Do With a Cat’s Body After They Die? Bringing Our Baby Cat Home
- Read her next article: Do Pets Grieve Other Pets When They Die? How Our Dogs Reacted to Baby Cat’s Passing