Time to Say Goodbye – Baby Cat Has Crossed the Rainbow Bridge

Hi, I’m Nicole! Read my introduction to learn more about me and my distinguished Burmese, Mr. Baby Cat.

Dear readers,

This has been incredibly difficult to write. Baby Cat has crossed the rainbow bridge.

We had a vet appointment scheduled, and the morning before the appointment, he was lying in our bed up by my pillow and was nearly unconscious. He was peaceful, but had very shallow breathing, to the point that I was unsure if he was still breathing or not.

Upon reflection, had I left him, I think that would have been his natural moment. But, as his mom, I couldn’t just leave him. I picked up his paw, and dropped it. No response. I did it again. No response. So I picked him up and held him in my arms and he shook a few times, and did a weird gasp for air, and then stared into my eyes.

We promptly put him in his carrier as we headed for the vet.

In that moment, I thought that maybe the vet could save him, that was why I woke him. I don’t know why I didn’t leave him alone, it was the first time I had seen something like that, and we had the appointment already booked.

When we got into the office, we explained the situation to the vet. She was pretty shocked that we had not had the euthanasia conversation before with our regular vet and informed us that she could not in good conscience send Baby Cat home with us alive, because he was on his way out already. When I explained the bed situation, she confirmed that had I left him, he would have gone across the rainbow bridge on his own relatively quickly.

We were the ones to make the final decision to euthanize, but we appreciated that the veterinarian had an incredibly professional, practical, and non-emotional conversation with us about his well-being. We knew he was not well; we just didn’t want it to be true. But hearing it from her was the biggest relief we had felt in months.

Trigger warning: I will be explaining the process we went through for Baby’s euthanasia below.

Once we agreed, the vet walked us through the process. I’m not going to get it fully right in re-explaining it to you, but I’m sharing this so that if/when you do go through this situation with your cat, you know what to expect.

The vet explained that there were two injections: one was a sedative to keep him calm, and the other was essentially an overdose that would stop his heart. She explained that he would seize for a moment and gasp for air, but that he was not in pain while doing that. It was momentary, and in his current state, he would welcome the assistance toward the light. We couldn’t have agreed more.

We got to say our goodbyes to our little man. I didn’t cry in that moment, I was too present to feel much other than wanting to ensure he was ok. I am grateful for that, as I was able to see clearly, after probably seeing things a bit too foggily for some time (though, we had only been following the guidance of a different professional, so I needn’t carry that weight).

It all happened so fast, he went limp with the first injection, and he went even faster than we expected. If one wasn’t prepared to see the scene, it would have been difficult, but after the moment on our bed in the morning, his seizure at home a few months before then, and watching him lose weight and that sparkle in his eye over the previous weeks and months, it was not frightening at all. Again, it was a relief. A relief to help my beautiful, wonderful, kind, adorable Baby Cat home.

I want to share more about the grieving process with you over the coming weeks. While it is also therapeutic for me, it is hard to get out the words, so I will leave this one here and share the after-death and burial process with you in the future.

Rest in Peace and Love, my little Baby Cat. Thank you for all the memories, snuggles, late nights, early mornings, laughs, love, and everything in between. You will always be a part of our family, forever loved and remembered.